Saima Ikram
Someone once said that character is who we are when no one is looking, not someone we pretend to be in the company of others. When you get hurt by others, it pricks the heart for not pulling the transgressor just because of other people. This feeling makes you replace the feeling of un-forgiveness with a sense of pleasing others. But despite the unlimited supply of literature available that urges bountiful forgiveness, you may act in a way that brings harms to your own self later on.
Forgiveness is divine and it gives you a chance to become a better person from inside not just to show other people. It is hard to forgive but studies have proved that all the negative ruminations of un-forgiveness can bring damage to your heart. On the other hand, the habit of forgiveness has scientifically proven to reduce the symptoms of coronary heart diseases, chronic pain, and even drug addiction. Following are the ways that can help you with the process of forgiving the people who have done something wrong with you in life.
Identify your emotions:
When you feel you have been wronged, you will feel all the needles pricking you inside. Your mind will take some time in healing, therefore, do not rush the process. If you want to be angry, scream into your pillow, if you want to be sad then let the tears out. But do not press your emotions as it will; make it more painful. In order to make a forgiveness space in your mind, you will have to identify the process you are going through. Focus on what hurts you the most and eventually let go of it.
See the situation through their eyes:
If you want to understand why someone did wrong to you, put yourself in their position, and imagine what you would have done. Once you understand your wrongdoer considering yourself there, it will be easier to forgive in the real situation.
Write down on a paper:
There are times when expression of feelings becomes necessary. For that purpose, take a piece of paper and start writing a letter. It might take you a week and it depends on how quickly you can work through the pain. Write every feeling about the person who has done wrong with you but do not end it with any other sentence but by writing “I forgive you”. Do not send the letter to anyone as it was only a mean to say things which you cannot say to your wrongdoer.
Reconciliation is not necessary:
Once someone does wrong to you, they lost some respect in your eyes. It is possible to forgive without re-establishing a relationship because it is you who know whether it is healthy to make the same person a part of your life again.
Keep your mind focused towards present:
Once you realize that the past is over and there is nothing you can do about it, let go of it and focus on the present. Get engaged in what is going around you and what is going well in your life as it will bring happiness.
Humans do hurt each other in immense ways but forgiving is one of the best ways you can express true moral virtue. Just act your part to free one another from some impact of the harm that is caused by not forgiving.
