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Good relationship summons loyalty, honesty, respect and affection. Realistically speaking, that’s all it needs.
In an article published at NBCnews, relationship therapist and co-founder of The Gottman Institute, John Gottman tells why some marriages last long. They last long because of a happy relationship, cited as reasonably “good enough”
True love requires the right expectations. According to John, couples in a “good enough” relationship are better because of the right expectations. Asking for true love is nothing less than exhilarating and happens only in the movies. If you want your relationship to last longer, settle for “good enough” expectations.
“I think the ‘good enough’ relationship is one in which you get treated with respect and love and affection, and those are the essential ingredients,” Gottman tells NBC News.
According to him, a “good enough” relationship demands trust and commitment. These two attributes are the prerequisite of staying happy in a relationship. A happy relationship guarantees a long-lasting relationship.
“Building trust really involves your partner really having your best interest at heart, not just their own,” he says,
John believes, the true commitment means, really cherishing what they have and whatever they possess. It’s about feeling happy for your partner as they are rather than looking for what’s missing in their personality and life.
I think the ‘good enough’ relationship is one in which you get treated with respect, love and affection, and those are the essential elements.
Don’t have expectations that are too high or too low:
Gottman believes people usually think, to be happy in a relationship requires lowering your expectations to avoid huge disappointments. He says it’s a bad idea because, by lowering your expectations, you are allowing to be treated poorly and that does not make any sense.
“A ‘good enough’ relationship is not a relationship where unfortunately people are psychologically and physically abused,” he further elaborates his point.
A “Good Enough” relationship is a good parameter of how you should be treated and expect to be treated but it also means, how your partner needs to be treated too.
One should be realistic. Everybody has a conflict in relationships. What matters the most is, how you manage it.
“All relationships have disappointments where people get their feelings hurt, that just happens,” he says. “It’s part of the course in relationships just because there are two brains instead of one brain.”
